When you think football, at least the American varient, what are the first things that pop into your head? Probably incredibly tough things. Very large men in armor crashing into eachother at high speeds on the gridiron. Smashmouth. Violence in its purest and most entertaining form.
That isn't all there is though. Somewhere between a bone crushing hit and an "alleged" Fred Smoot boat party is where the real beauty of football is. The art. Week 5 helped me realize how artistic this game can be. Whether it be a masterful Kyle Orton drive to help keep the Broncos undefeated season alive or the Bengals continuing their trend of ruining former commish Paul Tagliabue's desire to make football as unentertaining as possible, there is a wondrous amount of art behind these sweaty guys of questionable mental stability. So when I sat down to do a recap of this weeks antics, I no longer cared about analysis or stat regurgitation. Statistics are not artistic. The only way to do America's beautiful game any justice is with the written word.
So like the brilliant Yone Noguchi to his American poetry peers, I hope to convince sports-writers across America who currently just regurgitate the same opinions of EFSPN* to take a new and fresh angle on things.
Why do a review,
when you can do... a haiku.
Click after the jump.
* The F stands for Favre. Get it. Because they talk about him. A lot.
Philadelphia Eagles 33 – Tampa Bay Buccaneers 14
Maclin delivered
McNabb with good receivers
Who needs the Wild Cat?
Dallas Cowboys 26 – Kansas City 20
Cowboys fans are right
Miles Austin did look great...
Playing a high school.
Carolina Panthers 20 – Washington Redskins 17
Which has a worse chance?
Us and a Public Option
Or Zorn and his job?
Cincinnati Bengals 17 – Baltimore Ravens 14
Calm down some Bengals
Stop making things exciting
Would Paul have liked that?
Atlanta Falcons 45 – San Francisco 10
I don't understand.
Coach is Mike Singletary
Yet the defense sucks.
New York Giants 44 – Oakland Raiders 7
Made it look easy.
Why are the Raiders so bad?
JaMarcus Russell
Seattle Seahawks 41 - Jacksonville Jaguars 0
Hasselbeck is back
That was a terrible pun
The Jags are bad too
Arizona Cardinals 28 – Houston Texans 21
Mediocre teams
Usually have a great game
This just proves that fact
Minnesota Vikings 38 – St. Louis Rams 10
Favre is having fun
Brett Favre is a gunslinger
I hate you sports talk
Indianapolis Colts 31 – Tennessee Titans 9
Manning lead blow out
Sounds like a car commercial
Titans are lemons
Cleveland Browns 6 Buffalo Bills 3
Hank Williams once said;
“You ready for some football?”
These teams answered “No.”
Denver Broncos 20 – New England 17
Early Halloween
Orton was dressed as Elway
I love Boston tears
Miami Dolphins 31 – New York Jets 27
Pennington still out
Dolphins are looking good with
the other white Chad
Pittsburgh Steelers 28 – Detroit Lions 20
What do the Steelers
And a post game shower share?
A whole lot of sacks
